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Notes

A Checklist for Evaluating our Maturity

From Al-Anon Booklet “Alcoholism: The Family Disease” (p. 4)

The difficulties of coping with alcoholism in another are much more effectively met when we ourselves reflect attitudes of mature adults

A mature adult is one who:

  • Does not automatically resent criticism, realizing that it may contain a suggestion for self-improvement.
  • Knows that self-pity is futile and childish–a way of placing the blame for disappointments on others.
  • Does not readily experience a loss of temper or “fly off the handle” about trifles.
  • Keeps calm in emergencies and deals with them in a logical, reasonable fashion.
  • Accepts responsibility without blaming others when things go wrong.
  • Accepts reasonable delays without impatience, realizing that some adjustment for the convenience of others is necessary.
  • Is a good loser, accepting defeat and disappointment without complaint or ill temper.
  • Does not worry unduly about things that can’t be changed.
  • Doesn’t boast or “show off” when praised or complimented, accepts it with grace, appreciation and without false modesty.
  • Applauds others’ achievements with sincere goodwill.
  • Rejoices in the good fortune and success of others having outgrown petty jealousy and envy.
  • Listens courteously to the opinions of others even when they hold opposing views; does not enter into hostile argument.
  • Doesn’t find fault with “every little thing” or criticize people who do things differently.
  • Makes reasonable plans and tries to carry them out in orderly fashion; does not do things on the spur of the moment without due consideration.
  • Shows spiritual maturity by–
    • accepting the existence of a Higher Power and recognizing the importance of this Power in life.
    • realizing each person is part of mankind as a whole and has much to give; that each of us has an obligation to share with others the gifts that have been bestowed upon us.
    • obeying the spirit of the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”