Header image: KF in Dalle-E
A note sent to the class I TA with (EDUC 500 Research Methodology in Education), many of whom are getting worried as we come to the end of the semester.
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Given that many of you are, understandably, worried about your grades I thought it might be helpful to share this with you. In 2019 I took a class on History, Theories, and Practices of Alternative Education with Wayne Ross. Here are some important details from the course notes.
I have attached my self-assessment rationale [pasted below] for you to read my thinking behind the grade I gave myself. For many of you, this is your first semester so you don’t really know where “the bar” is in terms of what is expected of you. You will likely come to learn that “the bar” is largely imaginary; if you got into grad school, you are “good enough” already. The problem then becomes how much work/effort to put into your coursework. This will vary from person to person and I have no advice on how to quantify this. However, I recently read something along the lines of: you don’t always need to “do your best” – If you do, then your “best” becomes your median effort and you end up, all by yourself, creating and chasing unattainable standards. While I am not suggesting you put in a half-assed effort, I would ask you to consider whether your “best” is required in any given context. Perhaps, if you hold your own work to high standards, “good enough” is simply enough at some stage.
Anyway, I know it is easier said than done; I have trouble in accepting my own advice here, but try not to worry about your grades. Put in a good effort and remember that (for the most part) you have the great privilege to be here to (again) avail of the transformative potential of education and not to jump through hoops in the required manner so that you can get a certification.
Journey > destination, blah blah. Stay well folks – you are enough.
Self-assessment of learning
Grade: 94%
Justification
Short version; I have given myself this grade because this is my average grade across the other six courses I have taken. As I didn’t do any less work for this class than for the others, and as quality of the “deliverable” I produced was of similarly consistent quality, I believe that this grade is appropriate. If I met the standards that are considered deserving of an A+ in my other courses, then the same mark is deserved for this course.
Long version; Before coming to UBC I had never received an A grade in higher education. I was a mediocre student during my undergrad (there was a lot going on!) and my MA was course + exam based and so the grades largely reflected my ability, or inability, to remember and regurgitate the subject matter which I am not particularly good at. However, I was extremely surprised when I received my first grade at UBC; getting 97% in Bill Pinar’s class (George Grant’s Critique of Education) was kind of shocking. My Mom voiced a version of one of my own thoughts: “sure, you could almost teach the class so!”
My grades at UBC have remained consistently high. In order to get some sense of how well I had actually performed, I had to look at the class average and compare my mark to that; this was really the only way to determine if I had done well in the class. This didn’t really provide the clarity I was looking for, as in some classes I got a slightly higher than average mark, which I didn’t think I deserved, while in others I received a slightly lower than average mark which I felt didn’t reflect my effort and engagement.
The “grade yourself” method in this course has actually provided some clarity in this regard as the validation of my accomplishment lies exclusively within my own evaluation of my learning. Before now, I had relied on the marks I was given to provide a sense of achievement at the end of each course but this was largely invalidated by the fact that everyone seemed to get around the same mark. If everyone gets an A+ then my own A+ is somehow devalued; it occurred several times that I could have done far less work and put far less emotional effort into my papers and gotten the same grade . However, in my own estimation and by my own standards, I sincerely put a lot of though and effort into this course and so I give myself an attaboy, a pat on the back, and A+ for the following reasons:
- Bravery: it would have been far easier to turn in a paper on the commercialization of education with regard to the intrusion of edtech and “teacher influencers”. I literally had two piles of notes, the other being on the neoliberal self, and decided to tackle the harder of the two papers.
- Effort: though we can’t necessarily reward effort without accomplishment, by deciding to focus on the neoliberal self, I needed to explore readings in several fields in order to get a better picture of what was at stake. I spoke with several knowledgeable others as well as my friends while I was working on the topic and engaged with the readings and concepts as best I could. Some of the concepts were challenging but it was even more challenging to understand these well enough to give a presentation on the topic in such a way that my classmates could follow my thinking. I believe the presentation went well (enough) and the document I sent on afterwards can be reviewed by those who want to explore the topic in more detail.
- Engagement: I engaged with my classmates both inside and outside the classroom on the general topic of alternative education and also on their specific area of interest. I spent a significant amount to time working on and thinking about the topic and relating it to what I have learned in my journey so far.
- Thinking: I read this great quote recently and it sums up how I have felt since I came to UBC: uncomfortable
“Reflective thinking, in short, means judgment suspended during further inquiry; and suspense is likely to be somewhat painful. As we shall see later, the most important factor in the training of good mental habits consists in acquiring the attitude of suspended conclusion, and in mastering the various methods of searching for new materials to corroborate or to refute the first suggestions that occur. To maintain the state of doubt and to carry on systematic and protracted inquiry ― these are the essentials of thinking” – Dewey: How We Think (1910).
I have done a great deal of reading and thinking since moving to Canada. I had a kind of crisis three months after arriving and I fell apart; it was the worst period of my life, but I started putting myself back together through 2018. This process has involved sustained periods of reflective thinking as I look back at my journey so far. This course has helped me consider issues around identity, belonging, and concepts of success and has helped me to consider issues around who I have become. That my mark has been awarded doesn’t, for me, mean that the course is over. I can now add my understanding of what I have learned and add it to further my development as a student and a citizen.